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"I appreciate, I feel, I want" Effective Communication

Writer's picture: Rachel JonesRachel Jones

I tried this out in my relationship and it has been so helpful in communicating through conflict.


"I appreciate..." Described a specific event, things, or area that happened recently.

"I feel..." Identify a positive or negative emotion that has occurred.

"I want..." Name the need or desire you have.


For example:

"I appreciate you spending time with my family. I feel frustrated that you spent 50% of your time on your phone while we were with them. I want you to spend less time on your phone the next time we are at a family event."


Give this a try and let me know your thoughts!


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